Friends???

Raksha had decided that she would not keep Ritvesh in the dark any longer. She wanted him to know the truth and then let him decide what he wants to do next. She liked him as a friend, she admired him as a person and she respected him for his integrity. Above all she liked his company. It was great to have him around. He was a person full of life. He had a great sense of humour and sometimes he would make her laugh till she had tears in her eyes. She was sad the whole of last week about the way she walked off on him. He certainly did not deserve that. May be she should have handled the situation better. May be that was the best way to handle the situation. Anyways she had decided to meet him and keep their freindship intact. 

Ritvesh had mixed feelings about all this. He did not know why Raksha wanted to meet him. Not after everything that happened past week. He knew why he wanted to meet her though. His brain was longing for answers while his eyes were longing for her sight. He did not want her to see him the way he was. That would be indicative of what he had been through. So he decided to upgrade his appearance. He went to the mirror to see what was the amount of work that he had to put in to do so. He was shocked to see a beggar staring at him. A little later he realized that the beggar was none other than him. "God!!! What have I turned myself into? This way I am sure that I would collect some change if I go onto the street." 

After about two hours of work emerged the good old Ritvesh. "Its good to be back. " he thought to himself. His appointment with Raksha was at 5 pm. This time it was Barista because he thought CCD did not bring him good fortune. The time was just 4 pm but his mind seemed to have lost control over his body which pulled him towards his bike. Off he went. He reached Barista at about 4.30 and he knew that he was in for a long wait. The wait did not last long though. As soon as he found himself a table he saw Raksha coming. "May be her body also stopped listening to her mind" he bought himself a smile.

"Hi Ritvesh"

"Hey Raksha. Please take your seat."

"Its been such a long time since we meet. So how have you been?"

"Great. Infact could not have got any better."

"Really? So how come I haven't seen you around?"

"I have changed my religion. I dont visit temples anymore."

"Great!!! Which religion?"

"Christianity."

"Why such drastic decision all of a sudden? Did your mind get confused as to whom to worship because we have many gods in Hinduism?"

"No. After you left that day I had an enlightenment and I saw Jesus. That prompted me to change my religion."

"Ok. Stop. Dont you think all this is going overboard?"

"Yes, I do. I am sorry. Not in the greatest of moods."

"Actually I am the one who should be sorry. I need to tell you something."

"You have something else also. I thought I got the worst shock of my life the other night. Do you still have something in store for me?"

"Will you please listen to what I have to say"

"Sorry again. Please go ahead."

She finished telling him whatever she had decided to tell him. After listening to the whole story Ritvesh said "Had there been no one what would your answer be?"

"Ritvesh, cant we just be good friends. Its better that we dont talk about it."

Ritvesh thought to himself "How can she be saying that when she knows that I have feelings for her." He wanted to convey the same to her but then Shah Rukh suddenly popped up in his mind and said "A very wise man once said that the first step of love is friendship and its also the last." Being wise was never Ritvesh's forte. He was always instinctive. This time though he chose to pay heed to the wise man. He replied "Sure. Why not?"

"Thanks Ritvesh!!! This means a lot to me. I need to get going now. Shall catch you later. Bye"

"Bye"

He sat there thinking whether whatever happened was good or bad. He did not know the answers yet. Only time will have to say. 

Flashback

Ritvesh was waiting for Raksha's reply. Every second seemed like an eternity, everything seemed to have stopped just waiting for her reply. He was eager, he was anxious, he was nervous and what not. Right now even death seemed like a cake walk for him. He knew that he had done all this a little too early in the relationship but he could not wait anymore. He was just waiting for her answer. His senses seemed to have stopped working before he could hear her say

"I am sorry Ritvesh. I am already committed to someone."

Ritvesh could not believe what he had just heard. He wanted to ask for an explanation but Raksha had already disappeared by then. She was gone. 

Ritvesh was still standing at the same place not knowing what to do. It seemed like life itself had evaded him. He felt as if he was in the middle of a desert not knowing which direction to go and no one to help him. He felt as if he was sinking and no one to rescue. He felt his heart beat faster and faster and wanted it to stop beating and let him die. He was drowning in the sea of agony but could not help. He could feel two tear drops roll down his cheeks but could not help. He could then see sympathy flowing from all directions. He did not want to be sympathized, he did not want to be pitied. He wanted to inflict pain upon himself. He gathered courage and collected all the stuff he had got and left home. 

There was a lot more to Raksha than Ritvesh had thought. He got it completely wrong when he thought that he knew everything about her. He did not. During the days when Raksha started smiling back at Ritvesh there was a whole lot going on in her life. Raksha did have a boyfriend who was a maniac which she realized later. First few days of her relationship with him were good. Everything seemed pretty cool. But there was one problem. He was way too possessive about her. He could not stand the fact that she had male friends. He could not stand the fact that she talks with any other guy. Soon they started to fight. And when the fights became rampant she decided that she needed some peace of mind. Temple was the answer to her woes. 

Temple was the place where Raksha found solace. After a few days temple turned out to be the place where a guy kept smiling at her. She initially tried to be indifferent but the smile was guileless so she gave in. In her topsy-turvy life temple was a great breakout. That smiling guy started saying a HI. She responded accordingly. One day she had the worst possible fight with her boyfriend when that smiling guy came and asked her for coffee. He took her by surprise. She did want to reject bluntly so she bought some time. When things got untenable with her boy friends she decided to break up with him. There was a big arguement about that but finally she came out a winner. That day she wanted to divert her mind from the chaos so she asked that smiling guy for a coffee. That is how Ritvesh got a date.

She enjoyed Ritvesh's company a lot. So she never brought the topic of her ex boyfriend. Her life was back on track because she had found a great friend in Ritvesh. When everything seemed fine Ritvesh proposed to her. She was not yet ready for another relationship not after what she had gone through. She had to get out of the situation so she bluntly lied that she was still committed.

A week later Ritvesh was sitting in his room staring into the dark. He had spent those seven days doing nothing but mere gazing and crying. He had surrounded himself with all the gifts that he had bought for Raksha. He wanted to feel the pain every time it seemed to lessen. He was successful! Not even for a single moment had he stepped foot outside. He had a dishevelled look that made even beggars look better. Having taken the help of two good friends, whisky and cigs, he had no idea of what time it was or which day it was. He had lost a track of time, lost a track of life and lost a track of himself.

He was about to sip some more whisky when something seemed to disturb the equilibrium around him. It was his phone. He took it and was about to smash it on the floor but his eyes caught a glimpse of something. It was a message from Raksha. He did not know what to do. His heart started to ache even more, his agony started to drive him crazy but his hands and eyes stopped listening to his brain. His hand opened the message and his eyes started reading it.

"I might feel sleepy tomorrow. Would you still be interested in a coffee?". He did not know how to react to that. She had denied his proposal which was the best proposal that he could have thought of. She had never told her about her boyfriend. He could not blame her for that. He had never asked her. He decided to meet her because he wanted answers to his questions. He was lying to himself. More than anything he wanted to see her. He replied back "I dont like CCD anymore. If you dont like Barista the meeting is not ON." He got a reply immediately saying "I like coffee more than the place. I am OK with anything."