Ritvesh was trying hard to run at his full speed, but could not. His body stopped listening to his mind, a total mess of synchronization. He was chasing something, someone. He wanted to run as fast as he could and get hold of her because she should not slip away (again!). He coudn't. His own body seemed to move in slow motion whereas the person in front was running away at normal pace. He stretched his hand our in desperation to at least catch hold of the dupatta, the yellow one with red lining and red dots. He couldnt. He started feeling the pain of having let it go when it was within his reach. He could not bear the pain. He started having difficulty breathing, started feeling suffocated. He woke up with a start. He was sweating profusely. He looked at his watch. It was 2 am.
He tried to recollect his whereabouts. He was still in Sydney. The last few memories before he got to bed was of him trying to send an email, but couldnt. Then getting drunk, which was the usual practice every night. But tonight it got a little overboard. Memories came flooding back, when all he wanted to do was to lock them in a corner and forget they every existed. Now he recollected images from dream. The dupatta. It was the same dupatta Raksha was wearing when he last met her, last saw her. How could he forget that, he remembered each and every detail of her clothes and each and every accessory she wore. She was wearing a red colored Salwar with yellow design on that, and the dupatta was exact opposite. On her wrist was a bracelet with red colored beads and matching ear rings. She looked so pretty in her red outfit, but she wanted to symbolize her red hot anger. How girls could dress up so perfectly, with everything matching in such a state/mood still made him wonder.
They were sitting in their favorite hangout spot, in CCD at the corner table to the extreme left. It was a decently secluded spot in the otherwise overcrowded coffee place. In the past two years, they had come here so often that everyone working there recognized them. Sometimes their order arrived even without them asking for it. Ritvesh used to joke with the manager that they should be getting a discount, for half their salaries spent in that place. Discounts was against the company policy when you are a part of the franchise, but they got goodies and free stuff sometimes. This time it was chocolate walnut brownies. Normally it would make Rakhsa happy (even though you are super rich, free stuff always makes you happy), but today the mood was a different one altogether.
That day after Raksha left in an auto, after Ritvesh said he was not ready to get married yet, things changed. Ritvesh waited for a day before giving Rakhsa a call, though today he could not explain why he did so. So when he finally called, it was rejected a few times before she finally answered.
"What?"
"Raksha, why are you disconnecting my calls?"
"Dont you know?"
"I know you are angry with me, but not picking up calls?"
"I dont think I received any yesterday"
"I wanted you to calm down before we could talk. I wanted to give you time and space. I also wanted some time for myself to think"
"Ritvesh, see this is the issue. Everytime there is a fight or argument, you cant run away from it. You cant be waiting for me to calm down, take your own time and then expect me to behave as if everything is normal. In the future, after we are married, if we have a fight what would you do? Leave me in the house for a day or two and go somewhere? This is not how relationships are supposed to work."
And before she continued further with her outburst, he interrupted.
"Was it me who ran away in the auto after we had a fight? You left me, and I was standing like a fool. Dont preach something you cannot follow. I am pissed at you too, the way you left me there. But I am being mature and have called you, in spite of you not picking up my calls several times"
"Dont even talk about maturity Ritvesh, when you cant agree to marry me after we have been in a relationship for two years. That day I wanted to tell you so many things - about my family pressure on me to get married, about the pictures my mom asked me to look at, about the guys whom my dad wanted me to meet. I wanted to tell you all these and ask you to come and talk to my parents. But you spoiled everything."
"Why did you not tell me all this before?"
"I did not want you to be under any pressure. I thought I would handle it for as long as I can, and then when I could not I would ask the love of my life to come and rescue me. But...." and she burst into tears.
Ritvesh could not think anymore. The memories of him making Raksha cry were the worst. He tried to switch his mind off but sleep would not come so easily. The only respite he could think of was alcohol. He went to his mini bar, but he was shocked to find nothing in there. He was at the brink of being dismayed when he remember the tequila bottle, which he safely stored in his closet for such an emergency. He did not need either salt or lemon, he chugged it. Half bottle down, he was lying on his bed staring at the wall, which appeared flawless in all its white. Then his vision started to blur and his brain switched off again. At least for a little while.
He tried to recollect his whereabouts. He was still in Sydney. The last few memories before he got to bed was of him trying to send an email, but couldnt. Then getting drunk, which was the usual practice every night. But tonight it got a little overboard. Memories came flooding back, when all he wanted to do was to lock them in a corner and forget they every existed. Now he recollected images from dream. The dupatta. It was the same dupatta Raksha was wearing when he last met her, last saw her. How could he forget that, he remembered each and every detail of her clothes and each and every accessory she wore. She was wearing a red colored Salwar with yellow design on that, and the dupatta was exact opposite. On her wrist was a bracelet with red colored beads and matching ear rings. She looked so pretty in her red outfit, but she wanted to symbolize her red hot anger. How girls could dress up so perfectly, with everything matching in such a state/mood still made him wonder.
They were sitting in their favorite hangout spot, in CCD at the corner table to the extreme left. It was a decently secluded spot in the otherwise overcrowded coffee place. In the past two years, they had come here so often that everyone working there recognized them. Sometimes their order arrived even without them asking for it. Ritvesh used to joke with the manager that they should be getting a discount, for half their salaries spent in that place. Discounts was against the company policy when you are a part of the franchise, but they got goodies and free stuff sometimes. This time it was chocolate walnut brownies. Normally it would make Rakhsa happy (even though you are super rich, free stuff always makes you happy), but today the mood was a different one altogether.
That day after Raksha left in an auto, after Ritvesh said he was not ready to get married yet, things changed. Ritvesh waited for a day before giving Rakhsa a call, though today he could not explain why he did so. So when he finally called, it was rejected a few times before she finally answered.
"What?"
"Raksha, why are you disconnecting my calls?"
"Dont you know?"
"I know you are angry with me, but not picking up calls?"
"I dont think I received any yesterday"
"I wanted you to calm down before we could talk. I wanted to give you time and space. I also wanted some time for myself to think"
"Ritvesh, see this is the issue. Everytime there is a fight or argument, you cant run away from it. You cant be waiting for me to calm down, take your own time and then expect me to behave as if everything is normal. In the future, after we are married, if we have a fight what would you do? Leave me in the house for a day or two and go somewhere? This is not how relationships are supposed to work."
And before she continued further with her outburst, he interrupted.
"Was it me who ran away in the auto after we had a fight? You left me, and I was standing like a fool. Dont preach something you cannot follow. I am pissed at you too, the way you left me there. But I am being mature and have called you, in spite of you not picking up my calls several times"
"Dont even talk about maturity Ritvesh, when you cant agree to marry me after we have been in a relationship for two years. That day I wanted to tell you so many things - about my family pressure on me to get married, about the pictures my mom asked me to look at, about the guys whom my dad wanted me to meet. I wanted to tell you all these and ask you to come and talk to my parents. But you spoiled everything."
"Why did you not tell me all this before?"
"I did not want you to be under any pressure. I thought I would handle it for as long as I can, and then when I could not I would ask the love of my life to come and rescue me. But...." and she burst into tears.
Ritvesh could not think anymore. The memories of him making Raksha cry were the worst. He tried to switch his mind off but sleep would not come so easily. The only respite he could think of was alcohol. He went to his mini bar, but he was shocked to find nothing in there. He was at the brink of being dismayed when he remember the tequila bottle, which he safely stored in his closet for such an emergency. He did not need either salt or lemon, he chugged it. Half bottle down, he was lying on his bed staring at the wall, which appeared flawless in all its white. Then his vision started to blur and his brain switched off again. At least for a little while.
